Parents are busy people. We take care of our children, while trying to take care of ourselves, keep schedules, find a way to juggle work and maintain relationships. With so much on our plates as caregivers how do we begin to make meaningfully connections with our children?
Schedule Special Time:
It’s hard to get quality time with our kids. We are busy making sure they don't hurt themselves and get places on time. Car convos are usually the best they get. But, what if you set a timer on your phone just for 5 or 10 minutes? In this time try to engage in a meaningful way. Every child relationship is different, so lean into what your child likes. Maybe it's art or pretend play. Offer to color in one picture or play cops and robbers. Put the phone away and let them choose anything they want to do. Remember, quality over quantity is key!
Be Curious and Invite Humor:
Instead of asking “Did you have fun at the playground?” on your next car ride home. Try asking a specific question like, “Did you go down the big slide today?” You might even invite humor by asking, "Did a dinosaur join you for lunch today?" For older kids, it might mean asking, “Who did you sit next to at lunch today?” rather than, “How was school?” Be inquisitive and curious about your child.
Create a “high-low” Game:
Try playing a family game called Rose and Thorn. Take turns telling eachother what your rose (good) and your thorn (not so good) parts of your day were. Here is a good way to add in humor like above, try and make your kids laugh a bit, perhaps you spilled the dog food in the morning or bumped your funny bone. This game is a great way to make time to hear and understand the best parts and worst parts of your child’s day.
Take a Little Extra Time at Bedtime:
I get it, you're tired. I'm tired. I'm even making another cup of coffee as I edit this blog post. At bedtime there is nothing more I want than to close my kids bedroom doors and head to my room for me time, which usually looks like cuddling up in bed with my dog and reading a few chapters of my novel before I fall asleep or staying up late binging TV with the hubs. But, theres something magical about the 20 minutes before our kids fall asleep. For older children it's their time to "recall" their day. They might share something mean their teacher said or about a friend that fell on the yard. Younger children but sing a song you've never heard or share something interesting they've noticed. Next time at bedtime sit around a little longer after books.
Lastly, Respect Your Children's Privacy:
Autonomy is so important. When we feel like a whole person we are more eager to engage with others. Knocking before entering your child's room is an important little habit to maintain. Not sharing everything they've said to other other adults, even if it feels elementary. Our kids are watching and listening. Respecting them, like we respect adult peers will help them feel more confident to have a more meaningful connection with you.
Was this helpful? Share this blog on instgram and tag me @motherhoodtherapy.
Comments